Cohesive and healthy relationships are what everyone dreams of.

You support one another, have each other’s back through thick and thin, and are able to bounce back from challenges because you BOTH want to be in one another’s lives.

Nonetheless, there are times when we get into relationships that are just downright bad for our health. Learn the five things that will let you know whether he is the one or if you should run far away – and fast!

Past traumas are presenting themselves in your present relationships

 Some people have had far more challenges in their lives than others.  Abuse or neglect may be part of their upbringing.  You can’t control what happens in your past, however, your previous experiences do not give you the right to mentally, physically, emotionally, or financially abuse another person. If you’re having trouble getting over incidents that have occurred and significantly affected you and you’re exhibiting those behaviors towards your partner, it’s time to stop, end the relationship, and heal. If you’re on the receiving end of toxic behavior – run and then heal.

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You two are always fighting

Disagreements are normal and even expected as two individuals will not always agree on every topic that arises during their courtship.  Nevertheless, constant issues are a major red flag.  As Sue Kolod, a psychoanalyst in New York City reiterated to Reader’s Digest, “As couples get to know each other better, there should be a progression toward more understanding and less misunderstanding,” “Poor communication that never improves is toxic because, without communication, a relationship can never move forward.”

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Neither or just one of you care for the other’s well-being

You should show some level of concern when your significant other expresses their pain, discomfort, or vice.  Completely disregarding their emotions is just a precursor for the things to come when bigger challenges arise.  You should feel comfortable voicing your opinion and if you don’t, it’s time to reevaluate why you’re choosing to spend time with your partner.

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Extreme Jealousy

Jealousy is a natural human emotion that we all experience from time to time. However, the conundrum lies when your every move is being monitored and you have to account for every detail of your life.  Lesli Doares, a couple’s consultant and coach relayed to Prevention online, “Everything you do must not just include them, but revolve around them. You might find it easier to either lie—and, when your lies are uncovered, everything blows up anyway—or you choose to stop having a life, friends, and interests of your own because the price is too high.”

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder

According to Self, individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have a grandiose sense of self, require constant validation, take advantage of others for personal gain, are unwilling or do not have the ability to recognize or understand the emotions of others.  The difficult part about relationships with people that have NPD is their behavior may be ignored or dismissed due to the blinding feelings of love.  You or your actions never quite measure up because a narcissist will nitpick everything you do; which erodes your esteem and confidence. Narcissistic people often play mind games and use manipulation as a tool to control. Beware.The key to sustaining meaningful partnerships are to study the behaviors and patterns of your significant other after the “love” has faded.  All the infatuation you may feel initially can be extremely blinding.  Take your time, communicate your concerns, allow the relationship to grow at a respectable pace and guard your heart.  You’ll be able to be vulnerable with the right person and your emotions will be a great indicator.

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This article first appeared on Africa.com

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